Batman v Superman – We Are The Losers – Review

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Courtesy Warner Brothers

They ruined Batman.  We already knew Superman stinks, but this is unforgivable.

Ben Affleck stars as Bruce Wayne – the mysterious billionaire who is full of rage after Superman’s battle with General Zod destroyed a Wayne Industries building and killed many of his beloved employees.  As the world questions whether or not Superman (Henry Cavill) is a hero or someone who needs to be kept in check, Wayne isn’t interested in taking any chances, and plots how he can destroy this man full of superpowers.

In the middle of all of this, billionaire kook Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) has expressed an obsessive amount of interest in those new aliens who showed up in the movie Man Of Steel, so he maneuvers to get access to Zod’s dead body and the alien ship that was destroyed.  Of course, we have to wonder why.

Meanwhile, Superman is struggling with his place in the world and becoming outraged at the Gotham vigilante, Batman, who has no respect for civil rights or a moral compass.  Also, he really digs Lois Lane (Amy Adams).

Plus, Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) shows up!

Batman v Superman is a super slog through empty scenes, boring performances, nonexistent storytelling, and constant questions about motivations that results in a lifeless movie.

The explanation and justification of Lex Luthor’s plotting is what completely ruins Batman v Superman.  He’s the main villain in the movie, and Eisenberg’s performance is brilliant, but it is all wasted because writers Chris Terrio and David Goyer don’t let the audience know why he is seeking the result he seems to be working towards.

Is it global domination?  Beats me.

Will it result in even greater riches?  Beats director Zack Snyder.

Is he just looney tunes enough to want to see chaos reign supreme?  Beats the writing team.

Without the proper context, the audience is left struggling to figure out why Lex is so weird, even if it fun to watch.

I just wish Cavill was paying attention to Eisenberg.  Superman is a super bore as Cavill gives the flattest, unemotional, stone-faced performance of a lifetime.  He has no charm to win over the audience.

Without the cape and all of the reminders that he’s Superman, you would have no clue why he is so super and lovable.  You get the feeling Cavill’s lack of ability to command the screen is why this movie becomes so much more about Batman.  Even then, it’s hard to judge Affleck’s performance.

Throughout Batman v Superman, Affleck appears to be ready to bust out into some real acting, but he’s held back by Snyder’s desire to make the movie dour and dark (and dull).  Batman is supposed to be brooding in Snyder’s world, but he should let Affleck run more with the rage and pain coursing through Wayne’s veins.

No matter how much I wanted to give the movie the benefit of the doubt and desired to see a great, awesome film that would leave me as giddy as Star Wars: The Force Awakens did, Snyder and the writing team destroyed any and all good will with the way Superman and Batman decide not to destroy each other.

It’s no secret that Batman v Superman is supposed to be the start of a massive Justice League franchise to rival The Avengers.  They even introduce several of the characters to the audience and give all sorts of hints at something more to come, so don’t get all upset and scream SPOILER ALERT at me when I tell you how asinine, moronic, ridiculous and all around stupid that major twist is when we see it on screen.

The reason why they decide to stop fighting could be one of the worst written scenes in movie history.

Batman v Superman is a dud.

1waffles_sml1 Waffle (Out of 4)

Batman v. Superman is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action throughout, and some sensuality.

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