Ben-Hur – Why? Seriously, Why? – Review

Courtesy Paramount

Courtesy Paramount

Somewhere in the spirit world, Charlton Heston is plotting the painful demise of everyone involved in this abomination of a remake.

Jack Huston stars as Judah Ben-Hur – a member of Jewish royalty living in Jerusalem at the time of Jesus Christ and the growing Roman occupation.  His family has been raising an orphaned Roman, Messala (Tony Kebbell), who feels like he does not fit in and feels the urge to leave and get in touch with his inner Roman.

Years later, Messala returns as a leader in Pontius Pilate’s army, and attempts to use his influence with Judah to pave the way for a more peaceful Roman occupation.  However, peace is not the order of the day.

When an attempt at treason is carried out, Judah takes the blame in an attempt to save his family.  Instead, Messala sends him away to be a galley slave on a warship, where our hero spends five years wondering and worrying about his family’s fate.

When circumstance brings him back to Jerusalem, can he avenge the crimes against his family?

Will he get revenge on Messala?

Can you stay awake long enough to find out?

Ben-Hur is a jumbled mishmash of nothingness parading around as if it is important and epic.

It’s just boring.

The original Ben-Hur was one of the biggest, epic, blockbuster films of its day with a budget dwarfing just about anything else in its time.

This Ben-Hur looks cheap and small.  I swear Judah was wearing jeans in one scene.

Director Timur Bekmambetov displays virtually no storytelling ability, which leaves the audience stumbling along as we drift from scene to scene with no growing tension leading to some sort of massive climax the big chariot race should be.

Ben-Hur is a movie going through the motions, as Bekmambetov tries to deliver the familiar moments.

0_5waffles_sml½ Waffle (Out of 4)

Ben-Hur is rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and disturbing images.